I AM LEGENDarily bored...The story of a boy stranded....in his own house..

Before I get started,I just want to get something out of the way,...'Home Alone was too obvious a title'.
As you must be suspecting,I am now in charge of the household.Me mum and Grandma have taken a well deserved sabbatical from their full time jobs here in India.Taking care of me isn't a easy task really,lets just say you can call me a 20 year old infant,except for the fact that I can wipe my own behind.So there they went, catching the earliest flight out of Mumbai ,leaving behind lil ol' me to fend for myself.
It didn't take long for me realize that my dreams of converting my crib into PaRTy CentRaL and a Lounge Pad were not going to manifest into reality.That was when the bell rang at 6 in the morning,...Milk,then again at 7 30....Newspaper.....,9...Dhobi....,10...The Guy Who Washes My Car(to ask for the key).....10 30,The Guy Who Washes My Car(to dutifully return the key).This is after i have slept at 4.After which I wait for the Garbage Man to show up.Doesn't.Its like they conspired against me....
I knew sleep was out of the question at this point,so with blood-shot eyes and murder on my mind I proceeded to making tea.The challenges had only begun...God Damned Tea Bags!!!!Tea flavoured water...umm my favourite.Not to be outdone,I set out to refresh myself with a bath.Cool running water,caressing,cleansing my skin.'Hey maybe this day won't turn out so bad' I say while the loofah de-toxed my armpits....BRRRRNNNGGGGG 'GODDAMN IT!!'.Garbage Man decides to show.Half naked and dripping wet i give him him the goods.I can almost see the smirk that was to form on his after the door would shut.Aromatic foam still oozing out of my armpits on the floor,tracing a path from the bathroom to the door.Great,jusssstt great.
11:45 am Tiffin delivered.Screw breakfast, I'll just move to lunch,I say, my incorrigible laziness after 20 yrs still seems to amaze me.Who needs flippin dishes,I'll eat right out the box.Notice how my vocabulary changed after my mum left.Anyway it turns out i needed flippin dishes otherwise flippin ants find themselves in flippin soft areas of my anatomy.Some things in life you just learn the hard way,or with resulting inflammation...Lets just leave it at that.
The night posed challenges of its own.Now,I am as brave as they come,but its a big house and its OK be a little paranoid(not scared...PARANOID).Besides, I never really got over the trauma after watching "Paapi Gudiya".A crazed doll with a thirst for blood...that is just wrong,...wrong i tell you...!!! I also keep a knife set beside my bed.Somehow in all the nightly robber encounters I come to expect,the robbers are always Ninjas,and I always oust them with my superior Kung-Fu skills...(I did Taekwando till the..ummmmm white belt,but i learned a lot!!).
Anyways I am pleased to tell you that i have been slugging it out for 14 days now,and i have survived without too much deterioration of my mental health(Lets just say there is more than ONE voice in my head to cope with the loneliness).So,goodbye from me and all of us....till the next post.....