When The Archer Fired From His Quiver...

On May 20th,puffy eyed and with a not so discreet scratch of my bum i picked up the newspaper.Hunching over the loo i started reading the dailies with a mild interest (the rest of the world doesn't quite command my attention these days...Amazing how self obsessed you become when left to your own devices).Racing through the pages ,catching headlines mostly I enlightened myself .Accident at..., ....murdered brutally,Scientists prove that... ,IPL's Latest... ,.Feeling better of having renewed my connection with the world?! and having lost it with yesterday's Vegetable Shaslik sizzler i set about completing the ritual.That's when a small Ad on the last page proclaimed Deutsche Bank(just as achingly hard to spell as it is to pronounce) was organizing a Jefferey Archer Book Signing Tour,his first stop being Mumbai .So i set off to a bookstore in Andheri,well in advance.I reached at 6,being told he was to come at 7.Now readers, this to me is equivalent to the euphoria that would accompany a rock fan to a Iron Maiden concert(which i did not make it to... ).At the venue(Infinity Mall) i was greeted with the sight of a bunch of impassive window shoppers and some seriously unimaginative couples( A mall..?!).It seemed the Iron Maiden analogy ended there.
In the bookstore however,the earlier sight not withstanding , there was a cozy arrangement of chairs,and a dimunitive stage.For some reason Deutsche(bloody @$%%) Bank had chosen to underplay the whole event.I bought a copy of " Prisoner of Birth"..his latest creation.The store had a policy stating only the books bought at the venue will be signed.At 7,sharp he arrived in the store,looking dapper in a striped shirt and trousers.He took to the stage immediately,and vowed that he would not leave until everyone's book was signed.Needless to say the the people on the floor were ..umm...floored.The following are excerpts from his conversation,my views on them(if any).
He divided his time to talk to writing in general,his most recent book and questions.I am assuming only well read and informed reader frequent my blog(if any..coz i sure ain't!!), must have read the interview in the paper.I will try to cover what the press missed,or anything I found interesting.

"Most people in in an audience like this would like to be a writer"....When a few members of zealous audience raised their hands he added "And i didn't even ask!"

To people that thought writing was a easy job,he revealed his 10hr each day writing schedule.Also adding that after 50 days of following this strenuous schedule he is done with only the 1st draft.Considering that 'Prisoner of Birth took 17 drafts,I should be looking for alternative careers.
(Genetic Engineering..cross,Writing...double cross...Take over world with a army of zombies...To do )
During the speech,he was disturbed by he music playing in the store(that slow lulling flute music that accompanies you in the elevators...)Twice his plea went unheard to which he joked"I dunno why it isn't taken care off,they have only a thousand people to help them ! "
He admitted he wasn't a writer but a story teller(a quite good one at that),and that the joy he received on walking into a room filled with people who love your work,made him resolute that he will write till he died.
He talked of a rather interesting interlude with a journalist who was trying to extract some pearls of wisdom to aid his own literary pursuit,when Archer got wind of his intentions he confronted him sayin"Man I see what you are trying to do,..Do you really believe you can write stories like me and sell 135 million copies worldwide??" To which he flatly replied "Hell no,...I am going to write a Nobel prize winning book which damned well lot easier!!"
There were some interesting questions.Most of them were silly,making him repeat himself.Some replies i write below
1)When asked if he experiences the same intensity when he reads his own books he said he didn't generally read his own books,but after 25yrs he was tempted to read "Kane and Abel" to see what all fuss was about he added.
2)Do you write to get your book made into a movie?? "Clearly not,I have written 14 books and not one of them has been made into a movie even though all of them are stories."
3)Honesty in writing(favorite part for me)
"Write what you like to write.Jane Austen wrote five of the greatest novels ever,the first one was about a mother trying to get rid of three daughter,the second about a mother trying to get rid of three daughters ,third was about a mother trying to get rid of two daughters and the fourth of a daughter trying to find a husband.Yet she made you turn the page on each one."
4)Publishers
"I got rejected by 17 publishers,before the 18th published 'Not a penny more, Not a penny less'.That is where i beat J.K Rowling who got published by the 16th publisher."
5)Indian Writers
"This country has 5 or 6 of the greatest writers.My favorite writer is Vikram Seth,i loved the Suitable Boy.That man can write as well as tell a story.In Britain we call a person like him a 'damn annoyable chap'.He can write poetry,paint,play the violin...I am amazed he doesn't open the batting for India!"
There was also a foolish lady who thought she could discuss the plot in he company of people who hadn't read the book.AND was haughty about it when boo-ed by the audience!

6)Traffic
He wasn't the charming bloke all throughout the night.He like most foreigners had lots to say about the traffic,having taken 2 hours to go 15 kms.
7)Cricket
He also made clear he detested the 20-20 format of the game.According to him a real match was between India and England at Lord's with India 23/7...(booing in good humour begins)..Dravid..naught.... Tendulkar....naught(good humour dissipates..).

And finally he ended,saying that of all the countries,he hasn't yet experienced such warmth,and friendship for a author.India,with its masses of story tellers believed that authors were on a higher pedestal than film stars.