Greasy Thoughts,.....

Firstly,let me just say,that ever since i could read,be it about five children who owned a island,or seven who solved mysteries or for even a girl who also found herself in the wrong place at the wrong time,I wanted to write..(i also attribute this interest to the fact that all the genes that code for "excelling at sports" somehow ended up in my sister.)Fueled by a overly vivid imagination,i always set about on a quest to write my own novel(sucking at sports left me with a lotta free time u know..).Then,armed with my pen(t'was a "china pen" as they called it,basically a ink pen china made..the gold cap made me feel important) i would set about scribbling on a old pad.The title generally consumed so much time that my most of my ambitious undertakings ended there."The Adventures of Leo Longmane " was going to be a magnificently breathtaking description of various pursuits of a leonine character with a wild mane of hair(the title doesn't leave a whole lot for guessing does it??....should also explain the unruly growth on my head).I would put myself in his place,brave,fearless, i would set out from my woodland kingdom,and into the horizon,to gather allies in the neighboring nations against a growing threat from the kingdom Arkahnon or something LOTR-ish sounding like that.My stoic face even while facing the most hellish creatures would make me somewhat of a legend.My wild hair billowing in the wind would strike a cold fear in the hearts of my enemies.My roar,sheer terror....and so i would walk around,talking to myself,on the road,pursuing invisible foes and striking them down,whenever i entered a slightly deserted lane.But all these thoughts never found themselves on paper,i always feared that the intense escapades of my character wouldn't be as intense if i tried to confine them in the limits of my vocabulary.And so ended my story,Longmane died a brutal death,...killed by what he stood against, fear.The fear of matching my wits,language against the other fiction writers...Longmane died byt the hands of Aragon,Gandalf even Harry..He passed,into the shadow,resurrected on optimistic days,but forgotten soon enough..Maybe one day he will rise from his grave,his adventures will be read,..his roar will be heard...

Visa Woes.Train bombings anyone..??

VISA REJECTED WITHOUT PREJUDICE....thats what a 'Officer F. Mackey' stamped on my visa form.The sheer injustice of it all,....the hopes,the dreams of young,and slightly hairy,boy brutally shattered."I hope you scald yourself while drinking your stoopid tea & choke on those ridiculously small sandwiches..."Apparently Mr.Mackey doesn't think that I am worthy of travelling to his country.No effin wonder Gandhi was pissed at these guys....hrrruummmffff who wants to go there anyway...*Salil tries to find the receipt to 'I Love London T-shirt,ties a towel around his waist and thinks of walking to Dandi..realises that would symbolise nothing..so ends up taking a bath.*And to think I had a fake English accent all practiced.I was using words and phrases like "blimey" ""oh good gracious me" every time i dropped a spoon,till I started sounding like Madonna going senile with exceptionally bad table manners.I don't get it ,why would they not want me to go there??I don't have a criminal record(not for lack of trying by the Police...mmmmuuuaaahahahahhaha) ,I really dont plan to study there,not unless Tina Ambani suddenly develops a infatuation for me....SO WHY???
And how the hell are the jehadi's getting the visas??I am sure somewhere deep in Pakistan,in shady alley there is a establishment which hepls the terrorists in getting their papers in order.

A heavily bearded man walks into the enterprise...
Man At Counter-Salam Alekum,How may i help you...
Jehadi-I want to get a visa to the Land Of The Cursed Christ Worshippers.
Man At Counter-Right,by that you mean,Land Of The Cursed Christ Worshippers controlled by the one they call He -Who-Will-Sell-His-Own-Mother-For-Oil Bush...?
Jehadi-Nope,the other one..
Man At Counter-Right, lets get started.Firstly what is your name?
Jehadi-Al Sayeed Mehmood Rafeequlla Karim Abdul Laden.
Man At Counter-Any relation with Osama by any chance..??
Jehadi-734th cousin...
Man at Counter-Arent we all??Now address and profession?
Jehadi-Bunker no.32,Trainer At Taliban Terrorist Camp since two years
Man At Counter-Why don't we just say,Human Resource Manager..??How about Duration of Visit...?
Jehadi-Till I wipe out every last one of these fair skinned infidels..or till i..like die or something..
Man At Counter-Riiiight...Purpose Of Visit?
Jehadi-To commit wide spread genocide and subject those kaffirs to hellfire till they beg for mercy.O..O ..n also want to meet my cousin Suleman who teaches the word of allah in a madarassa there.
Man At Counter-Ummmmkkaayyy...why dont i just mail the written form to you..?What's your email id?
Jehadi-.deathtoallinfidels88@gmail.com